Selective Amnesia

There’s a short passage of scripture that always serves as a constant reminder to “not forget” where the Lord has brought me from. Ephesians 5:8 says, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.”

It’s the first five words of the passage that really grab me: “For you were once darkness". Wow, can you remember when? I can. I can remember what it was like to be lost and consistently living in sin. What did your “darkness” look like? I can remember battling through addictions, fighting through low self-esteem, lying, cheating and stealing all in the name of “fitting in.” I really like the way Paul put it in 1 Cor 13:11. “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

So what is it? What aids children in “putting away childish things.” Here are four keys to effectively reaching our children:

1. Love unconditionally – Unconditional love is described well in 1 Cor 13:4-8. Paul articulates well what godly love is and what it is not. Love is patient and is kind. It doesn’t envy, nor does it parade itself, it’s not puffed up. Love doesn’t behave rudely, nor does it seek it’s own. It’s not provoked and it thinks no evil. It doesn’t rejoice in sin, but rejoices in truth. It bears, believes, hopes and endures all things. It simply never fails. I think if this text becomes our measuring rod of how we love, we’d begin seeing the fruit of this kind of love in each of the children we’re connected to.

2. Step Into Their World– Has someone ever attempted to do something for/with you that seemed like a chore or duty to them? Well, if you’re anything like me, doesn’t that bother you? I’d much rather you WANT to step into my world vs. you feel OBLIGATED to. When we authentically and intentionally reach out to connect it literally breaks down the subconscious barriers/ walls of protection most children put up.

3. Relate Without Compromise – Much too often, I witness parents, youth workers, and pastors alike attempt to win kids by acting like kids. Unfortunately, that just never works. Our Children don’t merely need friend’s, they need mature, loving guidance.

4. Be Patient & Don’t Forget – Earlier in the article, I attempted to take you back down memory lane because for some reason we forget. It’s as if when we age we decide to get selective amnesia. Let us not forget that someone was patient enough to graciously walk us through our mess, so why wouldn’t we do the same for someone else?

In order to reach them, we must always remember, we were once them.

by
Darius Wise